Tag: writing advice

Fear Can Suck the Life Out of You

Text placeholder (1)I would recommend writing to anybody and everybody. It provides a way to deal with things that we sometimes don’t like to think about as being directly related to ourselves. I have found that if you write about it, you can remove yourself from it and look at it in a more objective way.

Sometimes, in order to be able to deal with things, we just need to see them in a different light. You don’t have to write a novel, unless you want to. Journaling or keeping a note app on your phone for thoughts that come to you when you’re doing other things can work great. I derive some kind of inner strength from this exercise.

It’s like you can create your own personal dragon in the story world and then slay it, even if you can’t necessarily do that in the real world yet. And that can sometimes give you that little ounce of courage to try it for real.

The Power of the Playlist: Creepy Cool

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Spotify Creepy Cool Playlist
  1. Cry Little Sister (L.A. Guns)
  2. Don’t Close Your Eyes (Kix)
  3. Ballad of Jayne (L.A. Guns)
  4. Nobody’s Fool (Cinderella)
  5. Fly to the Angels (Slaughter)
  6. Edie (Ciao Baby)
  7. House of Pain (Faster Pussycat)

Do You Tell?

woman working girl sittingI’ve only recently come out of the writing closet. For years, I have written secretly, under cover of darkness. I’m not sure if I was more afraid of what readers would think of my work or what my family would say.

Most of my family don’t know I write steamy romance novels.  I daresay that their disapproval of my genre choice would be detrimental to my writing and my progress as a person. Therefore, I keep my author self separate from them because at the end of the day, I must write.

So many times we are held back because of the fear of judgement. Why do we do that? Let’s build each other up, instead! The things we could do (for each other and the world)!

Writing Dangerously: At Night

text placeholder (3)My whole mindset is different at night. I have the “get things done” state of mind going on during the daylight hours, but when nighttime rolls around and things get quiet, my mind shifts gears.

NaNoWriMo even has a night of writing dangerously. Maybe it’s ingrained into us to behave and think differently at night. Maybe it’s all the spooky things that lurk in the dark corners of our consciousness. Everything is mystical and poetic through the lens of sunless silence.

Sometimes, you sip coffee, scribble in your notebook, and something magical happens. You wake up, read what you wrote the night before and think, “Holy hell, where did that come from?” and feel like an insomniatic god.

Pretty awesome.

Maybe try it at night, in the dark, or by moonlight.

Don’t Let Negativity Stop You

 

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About ten years ago, I finished my first book. I was so proud and excited, I immediately started sending out query letters only to be rejected multiple times just like all authors before me. Enter Amazon self-publishing. Okay, self, new plan. I could go with it. I designed a cover, uploaded it, and was off to the races. People downloaded. Some people even liked it! I was thrilled. And then came the one terrible review. The one that brought all my momentum to a screeching halt. She didn’t like my work at all and was not shy in telling the world about it.

I stopped writing. I don’t generally give up easily, but in my mind, if one person hated it so much, then surely there would be others. I pulled the book from Amazon and went on with the rest of my life. I gave up.

My work is not above reproach. No one’s work is perfect. I just want to tell you, don’t let negativity stop you from doing what you want to do. Instead, let it drive you to be better, to work harder, to obtain that goal you have set for yourself. I have finally learned to accept criticism and use it as positive redirection and that has made all the difference.

The only person that can stop you, is you.

The Me I Am Right Now Is Okay

love meThe me that I am right now is okay.

That one is so difficult to master. I got married when I was 18. I was a widow when I was 19. Working to overcome tragedy at that tender age has taught me some tough lessons.

  1. No matter how tough it is, it IS temporary. It WILL get better. Time helps and things can change in an instant…sometimes even for the better.
  2. Cut yourself some slack. If you’re doing the best you can, then that’s good enough.
  3. Focus on what you can do today. Right now. Small accomplishments add up.
  4. LOVE AND FORGIVE YOURSELF!

The Power of the Playlist: Starting Fires

 

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There’s a certain mindset you just have to be in (clears throat) to write romance. Sometimes you’re not in that space, mentally or emotionally. Thank goodness that music has the effect it does on us.

Sometimes all it takes is a little spark to start the fire.

Behold, the match.

  1. Call My Name (Dan Owen)
  2. Electric Man (Rival Sons)
  3. Berlin (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club)
  4. #1 Zero (Audioslave)
  5. Red (The Blackwater Fever)
  6. Embers (Band of Skulls)
  7. Black Magic (Band of Skulls)
  8. Thieves & Kings (The Peach Kings)
  9. Fever (The Black Keys)
  10. Fires (Band of Skulls)
  11. Do I Wanna Know? (The Arctic Monkeys)
  12. Secret (Rival Sons)
  13. In The Dark (Reignwolf)
  14. Wild Animal (Rival Sons)
  15. Love Burns (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club)

 

Why Sometimes Your Writer Friends Forget to Put Clothes On

woman in grey jacket sits on bed uses grey laptop
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

If you come to my house at two in the afternoon, I will probably still be in my pajamas. I won’t have combed my hair and I probably haven’t been out of the bed very long.

I am not lazy. I do have a job. I am a writer.

Sometimes, I write all night and can still get up and do all the things that normal people do, but that won’t be the day that you come to visit. The day you  come visit me, I will have stayed up till dawn, slept two hours, and then managed to make it to the coffee pot before hitting the sofa to do it again.

I know not all writers have this crazy existence, but a lot of us do.

So, don’t judge too harshly. We’re not bums. 🙂

Tailwind for Pinterest

 

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I posted the other day about how much I loved Pinterest for book promos. Here’s another thing I’ve found to love about it and it’s an app called Tailwind.

This app lets you schedule pins to as many of your boards as you like, whenever you want them to be pinned. It’s such a time saver and at $10 per month, much more affordable than running ads everywhere.

As a bonus: it also works with Instagram.

You can get a free trial and see what you think. So far, I love it.

Living With Anxiety

the food you eat may be causing your anxietyI am in no way a doctor or nutritionist or therapist of any kind. Just FYI up front. This information is from personal experience and I feel that I should share what I’ve learned for those of you who may be struggling with this issue.

I see that many of my fellow writers struggle with anxiety and depression.  I wanted to share something and if it helps even one person to feel better, then I will have done the right thing in doing so.

A very close friend of mine has struggled with anxiety and depression for years. She has experienced severe panic attacks, stress induced hives, and severe acne. These symptoms were attributed to her anxiety, but there was never any underlying condition given as to what was causing the anxiety.

About two years ago, she developed facial swelling, digestive disturbances, and hives all over her body. Then one morning, she had a severe allergic reaction to cereal. She began to wonder if this was somehow connected to her anxiety because some people who are gluten intolerant also have similar symptoms.

My friend eliminated gluten and later, grain from her diet. She noticed that she had numbing of her mouth when eating nuts and sometimes with shrimp. She visited a specialist and turns out, she did have food allergies. She was also told that the sense of impending doom she always struggled with could be a symptom of an anaphylactic reaction. Scary stuff.

After going on a clean diet, and by that I mean no processed foods or allergens, she is feeling much better. Almost all of her digestive and skin issues subsided. After about a year of clean eating, she has much less anxiety. Changing her diet has been a very helpful way to manage her symptoms.

I’m not saying that this is an answer for everyone, but if you’ve tried other things and they haven’t worked, it could help to try changing your diet as a means to feeling better.